Mother's Day Poems and Stories

Enjoy mother's day with these heartwarming poems and funny stories.

 

 

MOTHER

M... is for the million things she gave me,

O ... means only that she's growing old,

T ... is for the tears she shed to save me,

H ... is for her heart of purest gold;

E ... is for her eyes, with love-light shining,

R ... means right, and right she'll always be.

Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER,"
A word that means the world to me.
--Howard Johnson (c. 1915)

 

easy mother's day crafts

 

Mothers are special yes they are
Mothers arespecial just like a thousand dollars maybe more
Mothers are special yes they are
Submitted by: Kayla 11 years old

 

easy mother's day crafts

 

 

Songs My Mother Taught Me

In the days long vanished. Seldom from her eyelids,
Were the teardrops banished. Now I teach my children,
Each melodious measure. Oft the teardrops flowing,
Oft they flow from my memory's treasure.

- Author Unknown

 

Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
If the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will have sense enough to ask for directions.

 

mother's day poems

 

 

Mothers do things out of love
Never imagining that what they do
May become unforgettable memories
In the hearts of their children.

 

God made a wonderful mother;
A mother who never grows old.
He made her smile out of sunshine;
And He molded her heart out of gold.
In her eyes He placed bright shining stars.
In her cheeks, fair roses, you see......
God made a wonderful mother;
And he gave that dear mother to me.

 

mother's day poems

 

 

When God Made Moms

By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one"? And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 200 movable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands."

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No Way!" said the Angel.

The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"

"And that's just on the standard model?" The Angel asked.

The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yes, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word."

The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I can't!" the Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"Yes, she is soft", the Lord agreed, "But I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the inquisitive Angel.

The Lord smiled and replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak." The Lord objected. "That is a tear!"

"What's the tear for? the Angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."

The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Truly, You do all things well... Moms are truly amazing!"

Happy Mother's Day!

..Erma Bombeck

 

mother's day funny stories

 

 

To My Other Mother

You are the other Mother I received,
The day I wed your son.

And I want to thank you Mom,
For the loving things you've done.

You've given me a gracious Man,
With whom I share my life.

You are his lovely Mother,
And I his lucky Wife.

You used to pat his little head,
And now I hold his hand.

You raised in love a little boy,
And then gave me the Man.

 

Knock, Knock Who's there? Love. Love who? Love you!

Knock, Knock Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you!

 

mother's day funny stories

 

 

Universal Mom Sayings

These familiar saying have somehow been handed down from mother to daugther right through the ages. How many of these did you grow up with?

Who do you think you are?
Ask your father (closely followed by "Ask your Mother")
Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like an adult!
Look at me when I'm talking to you.
Don't you roll your eyes at me!
Don't pick it, it'll get infected.
I don't care if "insert child's name here" Mum said yes.
You'll put your eye out with that thing!
I'm going to give you to the count to three.
Don't put that thing in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.
Wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident and have to go to hospital.
Don't cross your eyes like that, one day they'll freeze that way
I don't care who started it, I'll finish it!
Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!
Why? Because I SAID SO, that's why!?!
If such and such jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?
If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
Your father is going to hear about THIS when he gets home!
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
How many times do I have to tell you, don't throw things in the house!
Do you think your clothes are going to pick themselves up?
"I don't know" is NOT an answer!
I know it's not fair. Life isn't fair.

More of moms favorite sayings

 

mother's day funny stories


Pamper Mom with a Sweet Treat!
Visit Angie's Candy Store to buy bulk candy, candy bars, fancy chocolates, candy bouquets, gums and mints, you'll find tons of goodies to satisfy all your cravings.

mother's day funny stories

 

 

Real Mothers

Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried playdough doesn't come out of shag carpets.
Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real Mothers sometimes ask "why me?" and get their answer when a little voice says,
"because I love you best".
Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measure by height or years or grade . . .
it is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mom.

Author Unknown

 

"God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers." -- Jewish proverb

 

mothers day funny stories

 

 

A couple who have been married for 20 years is preparing for bed when the following conversation takes place...
She: "Honey, if I die before you, would you remarry?"
He: "That's a morbid question!"
She: "No, I really want to know."
He (pauses to think): "Yes, I suppose after a decent amount of time I might remarry."
She: "Would she live in our house?"
He: "Well, the mortgage is almost paid off ­ would you really expect me to move?"
She: "Would she wear my mink coat?"
He: "You know I paid $3,500 for that coat ­ would you really want me to sell it for a loss?"
She: "Well, would she drive my BMW?"
He: "No. Absolutely not. She doesn't know how to drive a stick shift!"

 

"The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later".

mothers day funny stories

 

 

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